crystal clarity
17 times is to many says tessa
his tongue is hanging out pink and purple don't know why he won't hold still
just want him to sleep shiny new snap-on crescent wrench to the back of the head
floor grappling down the hallway tried to hit him gently but harder and harder
now that its obvious that theres only one fix i cant even get the gun to work
shitty little brass zip gun can't tell shells from mechanism
three clicks later a boom way to loud for a 22. at that range the hole ragged and black two inches left of the top of his head
hot tears running down my cheeksmad at him for making me do this
i ask tessa why and how many times its been she says 17 without hesitating
17 times is to many times to have to kill your own brother can't answer why
back in the hall chris has made it to the bathroom and is trying to drag himself over the edge of the tub either to drown himself and finish the job or just wash the matted blood out of his hair which is unusually soft and bleached blond by the summer sun coming through the window
the bubbles turnin pink in the tub and i'm holding him waiting for him to die just don't want it to hurt anymore

may 10th/07/9:45 a.m.