the pain of razor sharp bone shards hiding under the skin of my leg is a welcome relief from the snakes inside my head. striking wildly at my emotions and ideals the past present and future fangs sink deep with every bite.
The past, drugs i once used in quantitys that should kill people. That i prayed would kill me and then resented for not, detested for their weakness, thier inability to perform such a simple task.
The present. this shallow work eat shit and sleep existance so far removed from the wild carefree wanderings of my past stings my convictions. my belief that i am capable of greatness seems so distant and remote from here.
the future. a question mark of fear in a vast darkness shining but not beautiful as i once believed it would be. the part of me i killed in the past that i never noticed die a little with every breath of poison.
dare i dip a pen in the venom now. these are not words of greatness and hope, the words i once aspired to write. no these are a mean spitefull lash to intended to hurt, not pretty but true nonetheless.
tired i put this hurt to bed once again.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Daisy Duke
Daisy's first ice climb.
Adventure all the way.
I bought a jeep in the winter of 2009, been without a licence for 9 years and finally knuckled down and dealt with that. It didn't take long to want a vehicle to go with the shiny new licence and i'm not fussy so when this yellow 1990 jeep YJ came along i grabbed it. 1200 bucks. It fired up right away at 20- and then tried to kill me on the way home first drive. front caliper seized with rust and caused nast skidding on the ice and snow plus it really wanted to be stuck all the time. Luckily parts turned out to be cheap! 35 bucks a piece for new calipers 20 for the rear wheel cylinders and a 80 dollar master cylinder put new brakes under the daisy duke.
She had her name before i even saw her, my buddy james said tim doonans got a jeep for sale but its yellow, i said "daisy!" and it stuck.
I dunno bout anyone else but i liked the dukes of hazzard when i was a kid, and daisy's truck was a jeep YJ a couple years older mind you but still...close enough allready.
Some othe minor parts ( carbetooter, studded tires, jack, shovel and rope) and i was getting antsy to go do something with my new ride, dion had new axes, the weather was right, its a go! worked on her all week and the weather held. minus 15 to 20, no snow. building good solid ice for sure.
saturday morning pick deedee up grab coffee and roll out of town in bright sunshine and a perfect -10 calm. made it 15 k out of town just across the bridge at the kiskatinaw river when flapping from the ragtop started to get worse. a roll of tucktape across the front above the window seemed to seal it up pretty good and as we went dion used more inside the vehicle to seal it up better. we knew the deal when we left both of us had our snowgear on like as if we were allready out sledding or boarding so with the heater and no major leaks it was actually quite comfortable inside. the thought of adventure lights dion up like a beacon. his teeth are only eclipsed by his gums when the adventure actually begins and this was no exception. the tucktape whisling in the wind every corner of the road out into the pass holds another story. remember that time? i could ask that all day long and never get the same answer.
that time we had the snow cave at the top of powder king? no not that time. my first ice climb? the one where you left your crampons behind? no not that time. we are rolling past the base of mount lemoray at the CRS (can't remove snow) highway maintainance yard. just past it hidden in a ravine is an ice climb, a steep set of falls just off the road about 4 hundred yards. SNOW ANGELS!! he finally guesses correctly, we had climbed it once together and it ended up beeing a bit taller than 30 metres. when we tried to get off it on a single rope, rappelling side by each down the wall we came to the ends of our ropes and were still 15 to 20 feet of the snowslope at the base of the icefall! well we had been tossing the idea for snow angels from altitude around for a bit anyways.
stand flat on the wall parallel to flat ground and take a couple steps sideways to put some room between us, arms out axes in hand still braking with the right but axe ready nonetheless. A glance, a nod. GO! let go step back into space, right arm out axe up. WHUMP! WHUMP! twin splats in the waist deep snow.perfect snow angels in perfect snow for the job and a big laugh everytime it comes up in conversation. laughed all the way back to the truck as i recall, and our sides hurt the next day.
traffic is decent and only a little bit of construction in the pass, roads are dry right untill the construction. When i got her the wipers didnt work and niether did the washers without both in the winter you are fucked if it snows at all. i had ripped the motor out to expose the problem of motor running but not working. missing bolts from rattling away for the last 20 years. reef that linkage bar out of the dash and bend it over and i had a wiper system but the washers were still not working. as we got out of the construction at the top of the pass a semi splatted my windshield with mud and the wipers didnt clear it but spread it so it froze instantly. windows down heads out the side "can i pull over more?"dion saying how much room i have in feet then inches as i slow us down to clean the window and our shorts. a couple raised eyebrow looks back and forth luckily we are just about there anyways.
we havent actually ever been into this climb before so we decide to go ask a local, in this case whoever is working at the azuzetta lake lodge down the road from the powder king ski area. as we walk into the the store a picture of someone climbing ice and various large mountain photos greet us on the front wall inside. the cashier is tall bearded with long hair and a lot of sun on his face we ask and he tells us not only directions to the bottom clearly but also that the pictures are his and the ice climb picture is of him leading that climb we are looking for. he writes directions on a napkin and sends us on our way with red bull and chocolate bars.
That went well!back to where we had to pull over to clean the window, its right where we wanted to be. pull up onto the snowbank on the side of the road turn the daisy off and start gearing up. suddenly serious.
Boots and snowshoes, harness and cramps and ropes and icescrews all in our packs, axes hung within reach. over the snowbank we go with adventure so close we can taste it. closer actually than either of us suspect. the snow is an inch of light fluffy on top of a 3 inch crust and then several feet deep under that. the first part of our approach is down into a valley a couple hundred yards. not super steep but steep enough to worry us with the crust. we discuss removing our snow shoes but instead opt for getting our axes handy so if we get out of control we can self arrest with them. important mountain skill that it is neither of us have practiced so this seems like a good time. as i step onto the slope all hell breaks loose and the adventure is underway.
my feet come out from under me and nothing i do will make the snowshoes dig in. i grab my axe with one hand over the head and roll onto it pick down in textbook self arrest position. and watch in horror as it cuts a perfect 5 inch deep gash in the ice crust for 20 feet before i give up on that plan. to make matters even better dion is hurtling along 10 feet behind me at the same ever increasing speed. my only hope is a small willow tree in the last third of the slope just before a good sized droppoff into a couple of good sized poplar. bum skiing is and art form and i put everything i have into aiming for that tree and just manage to get an arm around it. it whips me sideways into the air and around the trunk to the low side just in time for dion to smash into the poor thing. Holy shit! that happened fast! the droppoff is only about 10 feet but the trees at the base would have wrecked us pretty badly. snowshoes are not your friend on steep stuff. lesson learned. also self arrest doesnt work unless its on real ice. nother lesson learned. what else will we learn the hard way today?
a moment taken to shake the fear of after negotiating the last 15-20 feet of slope and away we go guessing wildly as we have left our napkin with the beta, the down low, the treasure map with an x marking the spot , in daisy. Up there. Booo.....we head upstream on ice covered in snow our shoes barely touching the heavy crust under its skiff of fresh. laughter. nervous at first and then we play remember that time? with a whole new story!
past a small open pool of water at the bottom of a litttle gully out for a walk in the winter wonderland fresh snow floating in the air on every little twig and branch. our breath plumes like locamotive smoke from another time. then around a corner to a steeper larger gully and there it is rising up one side to the top of a rock bluff. its beautiful. fat and blue white turning to clear water ice at the top with 3 scary steep sections linked by the slightest of bulges the longest vertical section looks to be about 20 feet but im sure will feel a mile long once im on it. there is no doubt ill be leading it. it looks serious and dions a strong serious climber, but i have many more years experience and this is steeper than anything i've ever been on. Rock or ice. ever. "Woops. i just barfed in my mouth i think. a little." deedee pipes up.
I hold up a fist as if to play paper rock scissors. Dijon just shakes his head, "you know this is all yours man"
He's had one climb on early season ice without me. thousands of frost white icicles to smash of and climb through beautiful stuff. he showed me pictures and i was a little jeleous. this is later season ice the icicles have flowed together and sheets of solid ice and then melt water chandeliers have woven together making magical scultures that look lovely but scream hard to protect. getting the feeling now. mouth is dry hearts racing gotta pee bad before my harness goes on. you know. FEAR. the real thing, you could get hurt out here. bad.
its better than 30 meters tall but we brought 2 ropes. i am going to lead it then make an anchor as i see fit and bring dion and the second rope to me so we can rappel off together . judging by the ice at the bottom i wont be able to trust the top enough to drill a v-thread anchor in the ice, but i see trees at the edge and I allways carry a cordalette. just a piece of rope about10 metres long tied in a loop. It makes a sling long enough to reach 3 or more pieces of questionable gear and make one solid anchor that you can trust. it's the mark of a mountaineer ive been told and i carried one well before i knew i was one of those, it just made sense.
we reach the base and dicover its a curtain, there is a couple feet behind the wall of ice under a rock overhang. awsome! a cave to distract us fromthe fear and we kill some time climbing around in behind the fallsbut eventually we are forced to return to plan A.
Gear up and go climb this brute....ok? couch sitting seems much more reasonable but we drove all this way and there just aren't any good couches to sit. dion mentions needlepoint. Possibly? just a suggestion, or gut growing?
crampons and axes, screws and quikdraws. some slings and miscelanious other things that make the impossible possible. step onto the bulge and sink an axe. thuk! im on but not on belay. the first steep is right there in my face and i reach up high sink another axe. carpentry and fear combine to make my axe placements fastand solid, many onesticks and never more then a couple taps at the others. feet not so sure but kick kick kick till they stick is the way finally up enough to be afraid of falling i hang of a high axe placement and reach for my first screw. the bulge i place above seems solid but an air bubble halfway shows in the slush coming out of my screw so i pull it and move again. the ice to my right is a honeycomb of clear fresh running water ice that i wouldnt even dare sink an axe into but next to iti find some solid. first piece in and clipped. "on belay" dion seems as happy to say it as i am to hear it. Commited now. climbing in silence i make the top of the first bulge. placements seem harder to find, the ice is not solid, rather a layer on layer type of flowing pockety stuff. i move into the next steep with more fear than ever before climbing on anything. ive never fallen on an ice screw and this stuff doesnt make me want to at all. arms are getting tired already and my next piece i am shaking at the thought of stopping long enough to get it in. reach high sink a pick. hang and go to work. shaking. feet feel insecure like they could blow out at any moment. elvis is in the house and as wade told me years ago and moments before my first lead fall of seriousness when your legs go that hard you have about 10 seconds till the fall. last piece 10 feet under me. a 20 foot whipper onto dubious gear? i dont fucking think so. re rack the screw reach up with the other arm and sink a second axe. deep. really deep. get my feet under me and pull my leash of the left hand, find a long draw and clip my harness then tiptoe high enough to get the other end clipped to my buried axe. god yes. safe. pull both hands of thier axes and let my arms drop limp. shake em out get the blood flowing again. then place in safety. relative safety. if i lean out hard on that axe it could still blow out. not till the screw is set and clipped do i finaly relax. a woop from dion lets me know the fear is just as real for him. "Good stuff man your looking strong!" i love it when he lies to me!! "feeling strong man" i lie back. reach up and reclaim my axes from the wall hang on my placement a moment longer.
"Climbing!" the call.
"Climb on!" the call back. a routine for the nonroutine. we do these checks at every step of the game. Cameron drills nonstop when we climb together and the habit sticks. dion is learning fast and our checklist includes new things all the time. loading the truck we go through the gear list then into nonessentials. rolling papers? check. lighter? check. he doesnt even smoke! thats a good partner. and these things make the unexpected so much easier to deal with when its serious
The final steep section is thin enough i can see rock through the ice in spots. but its also clear and strong finally. i trust the stubby screw i place under the final bulge more than the first 3 long ones i put in down low. so close now i waste no time resting.
"Placing!" the game of screw fumble and start. run it in once the threads bite. a steady flow of ice crystals out the end indicating solid ice no pockets.
"Clipping." he feeds enough rope for me to reach the draw and clip in.
"Clipped!" Feel the rope come tight as he takes it in.
"Climbing." and the answer from below, "Climb on!" he'll take as i climb up to the piece and then star paying out as i climb above it. The hard moves of clearing a bulge are all thats left. set axes just under the top and move my feet up as high as possible. Then stand up axes below my chest pull one out and reach way over the top. snow here cant see the ice but i am going to trust its there. one swing stick through 6 inches of snow and a satisfying sound. i trust that and pull the other axe. lean way over the bulgeand plunge the handle into the snow. one foot pops and i am still to low to get it over the edge onto the top off the bulge. Style be dammed i want up. stuff my knee into the snow and grovel over the edgeface full of snow both feet clear now. get them under me and im there. a quick search of the top and i sling a tree with my cordalette anchor building made easy! then a thought. did i turn daisy's headlights off? fuckit, of with my soaked lite gloves. pack off find my down puffy for when the fear sweats start to dry
"Secure!" i yell over the edge.
"Off belay!" the distant answer.
Pull rope till i hear "thats me" set up my belay system and holler "On belay." Routine.
"Climbing!" him. "climb on!" Me.
then silence for a long time. out with the heavy mitts a gift from wade years ago. they were his dad and he gave them to me when he died winter camping the first year we climbed together. ten years ago at least now. gotta love gear like that.
When dion finally clears the edge i can smell the fear. "Good lead man. you fucking killed it!" his eyes are wide and his smile is forced, no gums now just teeth. im still vibrating but the rush is finally dying. i tell him about the daisy lights and we decide to simurap off and book for the truck instead of top roping this thing in safety now. it would have been good for our technique to put some laps on it without the fear but getting home seems smartest now. rigged for the rap we step over the edge side by side. "wait a sec. "i grab my little flip video cam that looks a hundred years old from the fire it fell in last summer out at the cabin. "cool he says and we start down the wall. it looks super steep from here and when i get to the bottom i dont put my feet under me but just rap into the snow on my back.
"can i untie now?" "ya man your down" he replies, we pack not in a rush but still with purpose. time to go couch sitting or gut growing or something.
The slog out is slow we thought the crust would be strong enough to do without our snowshoes and when it proves to be not we dont bother just posthole onward. our axes in the willows help on the final slope out. the one that tried to kill us coming in.
daisy is sitting on her snowbank with headlights on. i reach for the key and she fires right up. LOVE! we both love you so much right now little jeep.
the ride home is uneventfull except for the game of remember that time. Untill about 25 k away from dawson when the whistling from our tuck tape job dissapears to be replaced by a lot of wind and flapping. dion reaches up just in time to grab the rag and clamp it to the window frame with his hands. he spends the next 15 minutes hanging on for dear life. its 25 below outside and in, i ask if hed rather i slow down a bit but the grin answers for him. go man go lets go home!
Adventure all the way.
I bought a jeep in the winter of 2009, been without a licence for 9 years and finally knuckled down and dealt with that. It didn't take long to want a vehicle to go with the shiny new licence and i'm not fussy so when this yellow 1990 jeep YJ came along i grabbed it. 1200 bucks. It fired up right away at 20- and then tried to kill me on the way home first drive. front caliper seized with rust and caused nast skidding on the ice and snow plus it really wanted to be stuck all the time. Luckily parts turned out to be cheap! 35 bucks a piece for new calipers 20 for the rear wheel cylinders and a 80 dollar master cylinder put new brakes under the daisy duke.
She had her name before i even saw her, my buddy james said tim doonans got a jeep for sale but its yellow, i said "daisy!" and it stuck.
I dunno bout anyone else but i liked the dukes of hazzard when i was a kid, and daisy's truck was a jeep YJ a couple years older mind you but still...close enough allready.
Some othe minor parts ( carbetooter, studded tires, jack, shovel and rope) and i was getting antsy to go do something with my new ride, dion had new axes, the weather was right, its a go! worked on her all week and the weather held. minus 15 to 20, no snow. building good solid ice for sure.
saturday morning pick deedee up grab coffee and roll out of town in bright sunshine and a perfect -10 calm. made it 15 k out of town just across the bridge at the kiskatinaw river when flapping from the ragtop started to get worse. a roll of tucktape across the front above the window seemed to seal it up pretty good and as we went dion used more inside the vehicle to seal it up better. we knew the deal when we left both of us had our snowgear on like as if we were allready out sledding or boarding so with the heater and no major leaks it was actually quite comfortable inside. the thought of adventure lights dion up like a beacon. his teeth are only eclipsed by his gums when the adventure actually begins and this was no exception. the tucktape whisling in the wind every corner of the road out into the pass holds another story. remember that time? i could ask that all day long and never get the same answer.
that time we had the snow cave at the top of powder king? no not that time. my first ice climb? the one where you left your crampons behind? no not that time. we are rolling past the base of mount lemoray at the CRS (can't remove snow) highway maintainance yard. just past it hidden in a ravine is an ice climb, a steep set of falls just off the road about 4 hundred yards. SNOW ANGELS!! he finally guesses correctly, we had climbed it once together and it ended up beeing a bit taller than 30 metres. when we tried to get off it on a single rope, rappelling side by each down the wall we came to the ends of our ropes and were still 15 to 20 feet of the snowslope at the base of the icefall! well we had been tossing the idea for snow angels from altitude around for a bit anyways.
stand flat on the wall parallel to flat ground and take a couple steps sideways to put some room between us, arms out axes in hand still braking with the right but axe ready nonetheless. A glance, a nod. GO! let go step back into space, right arm out axe up. WHUMP! WHUMP! twin splats in the waist deep snow.perfect snow angels in perfect snow for the job and a big laugh everytime it comes up in conversation. laughed all the way back to the truck as i recall, and our sides hurt the next day.
traffic is decent and only a little bit of construction in the pass, roads are dry right untill the construction. When i got her the wipers didnt work and niether did the washers without both in the winter you are fucked if it snows at all. i had ripped the motor out to expose the problem of motor running but not working. missing bolts from rattling away for the last 20 years. reef that linkage bar out of the dash and bend it over and i had a wiper system but the washers were still not working. as we got out of the construction at the top of the pass a semi splatted my windshield with mud and the wipers didnt clear it but spread it so it froze instantly. windows down heads out the side "can i pull over more?"dion saying how much room i have in feet then inches as i slow us down to clean the window and our shorts. a couple raised eyebrow looks back and forth luckily we are just about there anyways.
we havent actually ever been into this climb before so we decide to go ask a local, in this case whoever is working at the azuzetta lake lodge down the road from the powder king ski area. as we walk into the the store a picture of someone climbing ice and various large mountain photos greet us on the front wall inside. the cashier is tall bearded with long hair and a lot of sun on his face we ask and he tells us not only directions to the bottom clearly but also that the pictures are his and the ice climb picture is of him leading that climb we are looking for. he writes directions on a napkin and sends us on our way with red bull and chocolate bars.
That went well!back to where we had to pull over to clean the window, its right where we wanted to be. pull up onto the snowbank on the side of the road turn the daisy off and start gearing up. suddenly serious.
Boots and snowshoes, harness and cramps and ropes and icescrews all in our packs, axes hung within reach. over the snowbank we go with adventure so close we can taste it. closer actually than either of us suspect. the snow is an inch of light fluffy on top of a 3 inch crust and then several feet deep under that. the first part of our approach is down into a valley a couple hundred yards. not super steep but steep enough to worry us with the crust. we discuss removing our snow shoes but instead opt for getting our axes handy so if we get out of control we can self arrest with them. important mountain skill that it is neither of us have practiced so this seems like a good time. as i step onto the slope all hell breaks loose and the adventure is underway.
my feet come out from under me and nothing i do will make the snowshoes dig in. i grab my axe with one hand over the head and roll onto it pick down in textbook self arrest position. and watch in horror as it cuts a perfect 5 inch deep gash in the ice crust for 20 feet before i give up on that plan. to make matters even better dion is hurtling along 10 feet behind me at the same ever increasing speed. my only hope is a small willow tree in the last third of the slope just before a good sized droppoff into a couple of good sized poplar. bum skiing is and art form and i put everything i have into aiming for that tree and just manage to get an arm around it. it whips me sideways into the air and around the trunk to the low side just in time for dion to smash into the poor thing. Holy shit! that happened fast! the droppoff is only about 10 feet but the trees at the base would have wrecked us pretty badly. snowshoes are not your friend on steep stuff. lesson learned. also self arrest doesnt work unless its on real ice. nother lesson learned. what else will we learn the hard way today?
a moment taken to shake the fear of after negotiating the last 15-20 feet of slope and away we go guessing wildly as we have left our napkin with the beta, the down low, the treasure map with an x marking the spot , in daisy. Up there. Booo.....we head upstream on ice covered in snow our shoes barely touching the heavy crust under its skiff of fresh. laughter. nervous at first and then we play remember that time? with a whole new story!
past a small open pool of water at the bottom of a litttle gully out for a walk in the winter wonderland fresh snow floating in the air on every little twig and branch. our breath plumes like locamotive smoke from another time. then around a corner to a steeper larger gully and there it is rising up one side to the top of a rock bluff. its beautiful. fat and blue white turning to clear water ice at the top with 3 scary steep sections linked by the slightest of bulges the longest vertical section looks to be about 20 feet but im sure will feel a mile long once im on it. there is no doubt ill be leading it. it looks serious and dions a strong serious climber, but i have many more years experience and this is steeper than anything i've ever been on. Rock or ice. ever. "Woops. i just barfed in my mouth i think. a little." deedee pipes up.
I hold up a fist as if to play paper rock scissors. Dijon just shakes his head, "you know this is all yours man"
He's had one climb on early season ice without me. thousands of frost white icicles to smash of and climb through beautiful stuff. he showed me pictures and i was a little jeleous. this is later season ice the icicles have flowed together and sheets of solid ice and then melt water chandeliers have woven together making magical scultures that look lovely but scream hard to protect. getting the feeling now. mouth is dry hearts racing gotta pee bad before my harness goes on. you know. FEAR. the real thing, you could get hurt out here. bad.
its better than 30 meters tall but we brought 2 ropes. i am going to lead it then make an anchor as i see fit and bring dion and the second rope to me so we can rappel off together . judging by the ice at the bottom i wont be able to trust the top enough to drill a v-thread anchor in the ice, but i see trees at the edge and I allways carry a cordalette. just a piece of rope about10 metres long tied in a loop. It makes a sling long enough to reach 3 or more pieces of questionable gear and make one solid anchor that you can trust. it's the mark of a mountaineer ive been told and i carried one well before i knew i was one of those, it just made sense.
we reach the base and dicover its a curtain, there is a couple feet behind the wall of ice under a rock overhang. awsome! a cave to distract us fromthe fear and we kill some time climbing around in behind the fallsbut eventually we are forced to return to plan A.
crampons and axes, screws and quikdraws. some slings and miscelanious other things that make the impossible possible. step onto the bulge and sink an axe. thuk! im on but not on belay. the first steep is right there in my face and i reach up high sink another axe. carpentry and fear combine to make my axe placements fastand solid, many onesticks and never more then a couple taps at the others. feet not so sure but kick kick kick till they stick is the way finally up enough to be afraid of falling i hang of a high axe placement and reach for my first screw. the bulge i place above seems solid but an air bubble halfway shows in the slush coming out of my screw so i pull it and move again. the ice to my right is a honeycomb of clear fresh running water ice that i wouldnt even dare sink an axe into but next to iti find some solid. first piece in and clipped. "on belay" dion seems as happy to say it as i am to hear it. Commited now. climbing in silence i make the top of the first bulge. placements seem harder to find, the ice is not solid, rather a layer on layer type of flowing pockety stuff. i move into the next steep with more fear than ever before climbing on anything. ive never fallen on an ice screw and this stuff doesnt make me want to at all. arms are getting tired already and my next piece i am shaking at the thought of stopping long enough to get it in. reach high sink a pick. hang and go to work. shaking. feet feel insecure like they could blow out at any moment. elvis is in the house and as wade told me years ago and moments before my first lead fall of seriousness when your legs go that hard you have about 10 seconds till the fall. last piece 10 feet under me. a 20 foot whipper onto dubious gear? i dont fucking think so. re rack the screw reach up with the other arm and sink a second axe. deep. really deep. get my feet under me and pull my leash of the left hand, find a long draw and clip my harness then tiptoe high enough to get the other end clipped to my buried axe. god yes. safe. pull both hands of thier axes and let my arms drop limp. shake em out get the blood flowing again. then place in safety. relative safety. if i lean out hard on that axe it could still blow out. not till the screw is set and clipped do i finaly relax. a woop from dion lets me know the fear is just as real for him. "Good stuff man your looking strong!" i love it when he lies to me!! "feeling strong man" i lie back. reach up and reclaim my axes from the wall hang on my placement a moment longer.
"Climbing!" the call.
"Climb on!" the call back. a routine for the nonroutine. we do these checks at every step of the game. Cameron drills nonstop when we climb together and the habit sticks. dion is learning fast and our checklist includes new things all the time. loading the truck we go through the gear list then into nonessentials. rolling papers? check. lighter? check. he doesnt even smoke! thats a good partner. and these things make the unexpected so much easier to deal with when its serious
The final steep section is thin enough i can see rock through the ice in spots. but its also clear and strong finally. i trust the stubby screw i place under the final bulge more than the first 3 long ones i put in down low. so close now i waste no time resting.
"Placing!" the game of screw fumble and start. run it in once the threads bite. a steady flow of ice crystals out the end indicating solid ice no pockets.
"Clipping." he feeds enough rope for me to reach the draw and clip in.
"Clipped!" Feel the rope come tight as he takes it in.
"Climbing." and the answer from below, "Climb on!" he'll take as i climb up to the piece and then star paying out as i climb above it. The hard moves of clearing a bulge are all thats left. set axes just under the top and move my feet up as high as possible. Then stand up axes below my chest pull one out and reach way over the top. snow here cant see the ice but i am going to trust its there. one swing stick through 6 inches of snow and a satisfying sound. i trust that and pull the other axe. lean way over the bulgeand plunge the handle into the snow. one foot pops and i am still to low to get it over the edge onto the top off the bulge. Style be dammed i want up. stuff my knee into the snow and grovel over the edgeface full of snow both feet clear now. get them under me and im there. a quick search of the top and i sling a tree with my cordalette anchor building made easy! then a thought. did i turn daisy's headlights off? fuckit, of with my soaked lite gloves. pack off find my down puffy for when the fear sweats start to dry
"Secure!" i yell over the edge.
"Off belay!" the distant answer.
Pull rope till i hear "thats me" set up my belay system and holler "On belay." Routine.
"Climbing!" him. "climb on!" Me.
then silence for a long time. out with the heavy mitts a gift from wade years ago. they were his dad and he gave them to me when he died winter camping the first year we climbed together. ten years ago at least now. gotta love gear like that.
When dion finally clears the edge i can smell the fear. "Good lead man. you fucking killed it!" his eyes are wide and his smile is forced, no gums now just teeth. im still vibrating but the rush is finally dying. i tell him about the daisy lights and we decide to simurap off and book for the truck instead of top roping this thing in safety now. it would have been good for our technique to put some laps on it without the fear but getting home seems smartest now. rigged for the rap we step over the edge side by side. "wait a sec. "i grab my little flip video cam that looks a hundred years old from the fire it fell in last summer out at the cabin. "cool he says and we start down the wall. it looks super steep from here and when i get to the bottom i dont put my feet under me but just rap into the snow on my back.
"can i untie now?" "ya man your down" he replies, we pack not in a rush but still with purpose. time to go couch sitting or gut growing or something.
The slog out is slow we thought the crust would be strong enough to do without our snowshoes and when it proves to be not we dont bother just posthole onward. our axes in the willows help on the final slope out. the one that tried to kill us coming in.
daisy is sitting on her snowbank with headlights on. i reach for the key and she fires right up. LOVE! we both love you so much right now little jeep.
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